This week’s blog was partially inspired by the CSSC’s tag-line “Short. Is. Better.”, and partially by the attack upon my person earlier this week by the office Grammar Nazis. Every workplace has at least one Grammar Nazi and by virtue of the fact that I work on the university campus of a tier one university, we gots us a big bunch. In fact, out in that place you people live, what we at the U like to call “the world”, it is likely that at least half of my forty-four co-workers would qualify for the title. Here, however, the standard is extremely high so we only have two official Grammar Nazis and one in training.
The topic in question, or subject around which I got my butt kicked by the Welsh Grammar Nazi, Princess Gwenllian, was my habitual free-wheeling use of the semi colon. 
It had something to do with only being used in two cases, separating items in a list or separating equal related clauses. Course it would have made more sense if I’d paid better attention, as we were in the lunch room at the time and I was attempting a rather complicated bit of coffee making my full attention was not on the lesson at hand. Also might make more sense if I really actually understood what a clause was, or is, whatever.
For my defense I grabbed at a few straws and next thing you know I had woven quite a serviceable little shield. My straws numbered two and consisted of two facts: I am a creative writer who is in continual pursuit of a unique voice for myself and all of my myriad characters; the majority of my work is meant to be declaimed (that is your word for the week – look it up) by actors as well as inspiring all manner of creative professionals to bring their individual talents to bear on the full realization of my creative vision. Thus I argue, I am permitted to take almost unlimited license to punctuate as I will. And I do, so be fair warned if you are to be a regular reader of this blog. I punctuate the way I will, and devil take the hindmost.
You see, in particular with dialogue and creating character, while words may be the paint, the punctuation marks are the brush strokes. Yah okay, not the clearest of metaphors maybe but what I’m trying to get across that the use of punctuation is crucial to differentiating between character voices. One character may emulate one of my former co-workers and astonish by speaking only in paragraphs – always. Thus as a clue to the director and actor and wardrobe person and production designer, etc. I employ creative punctuation, or maybe none at all. When they read the script the multiple run-on sentences in the dialogue with no punctuation will inform them enormously as to what this character is like. If all of my characters were to speak with perfect grammar and punctuation, they would all sound the same. Not good. The way they sound would be deadly dull, as other than vocabulary there would be no overt or covert clues to bring in all the colours of personality.
And so I encourage you to experiment. Play it a bit fast and loose with your en–dashes and em—dashes and semi colons; mind you if the feedback is returned that what you’ve written is completely nonsensical you’ll have to pay some attention to that and of course spelling errors are no-one’s friend, but a little creative construction and punctuation would not be amiss. Go ahead. Write. One. Word. Sentences. If you are trying to illustrate a character who is having a hard time getting the thought out, but not stuttering either…stutt…stuttering can..uh, can call for a bbbbbbunch of eli-eli-ellipses. Leave out verbs, change tenses mid-sentence, write the way people talk. Of course some of your characters, like Princess Gwenllian, do indeed speak the way they write and write like they are supposed to. Which in their own way makes them just as colourful and incomprehensible as the rest of us.
In closing, I have already had one note that perhaps the expression Grammar Nazi is too harsh and should softened a bit, how a ’bout the Grammar Police? Nope, I mean the expression to pinch a bit, it’s part of my nefarious and elaborate campaign to train you into standing up for your writing and yourself. Grammar Nazi stays, if for no other reason than if you don’t like it, that’s good, let it remind you that words have power. Wield them well.
-Carolynne
P.S. in the drafting of this post I spelled “punctuation” 5 completely different ways. Maybe I shoulda left it like that, then it coulda been, like, an artistic statement.
